I have said many times that shame is a weapon of Scarcity. I have said it is The Atomic Bomb of weapons. I had a thought this past Friday, what is shame? Is it guilt? Where does it come from? Looking in the Oxford English Dictionary doesn’t quite describe what shame is for me:

The feeling of humiliation or distress arising from the consciousness of something dishonorable or ridiculous in one’s own or another’s behavior or circumstances, or from a situation offensive to one’s own or another’s sense of propriety or decency. (OED 5th Ed.)

I think the OED missed the point. When I feel shame, see others dwelling in their shame, I see much, much more.

I asked my neighbor about shame and she said, “Shame is when you feel like you are a mistake.” I thought, “Bingo” – that is why I declared it a weapon. When we wield our shame beyond the temporary of humiliation and distress, when we integrate it into our psyche and say we are a mistake— this is the ultimate declaration of I am not enough. I am not sufficient.

Is shame prevalent for you?

What thoughts keep you dwelling in a shameful place?

What “tool of sufficiency” can you call upon to step from shame toward wholeness?

When can you declare: I am enough?