I just watched the No Impact Man trailer. I am relating to the wife: I cannot do this. I cannot carry around every dirty diaper and wipe I just used today. I get it. It’s a lot of trash. With the baby struggling in her elimination the way she is – so much crying and so much soreness – I can’t organize my brain or actions into a coordinated effort to do the experiment.

This is not a proud moment. When I reflect on our life, just a year ago, we were harvesting our garden and plucking eggs from the coop. We lived on .09 acres and farmed a good amount of it. We had a foot by foot of trash each week and recycled and reused and composted everything.

Not right now. We are in a transition, one we chose, and one that is not aligned with No/Low Impact.

Inside of sufficiency, I am practicing to stay inside of love, self-love. I feel many, many moments of slipping towards shame. I can feel into the river of compassion available for all of us who are not in circumstances – mental or physical – that allow us to easily participate in what I might call Right Living, that is one caring deeply for our interdependence with other beings.

My benediction for now is: may this experiment allow a new awareness to blossom and integrate so that I may make my way back to alignment with my highest values while cultivating peace and love.