Back in my school essay writing days, I wrote a piece called “People Move Me”. It ended up being something I used to get into some school or program that I may or may not have actually attended, but my mom loved it so much, she showed it around to our large family. One of my Uncles, who I happen to adore, was at the time running to be mayor of our small town. He loved – and related to – “People Move Me”, and in his charismatic and very kind way, he asked if he could borrow it for his speeches. I was flattered of course, and said sure, as only a devout niece would do. It could serve us both.

Now, as I meditate on this old stream of thinking from my youth (and boy do I wish I had it saved somewhere other than a dead floppy in a box stuffed in my parents’ attic), I realize that this is really true for me. I am moved by people. I am easily impressed, easily influenced, perhaps even overappreciative of others’ brilliance. I have little trouble seeing the sufficiency in others. (Unless of course I am being judgmental.) In fact, I am slow to see clearly, to see the fullness of someone, and to keep them from leaping up to the highest pedestal and most inevitably, from crashing down, someday, when I wake up disappointed.

To counter this pattern of old, I stopped, probably shortly before I wrote the original “People Move Me”, to gather anyone in my presence, for any reason. My birthday celebrations got smaller and smaller and smaller over my teens, until when I was turning 21, I was alone. (Sad, sad, but true, true). I am now, like the eight year old kid who fell off the diving board onto the pavement, making my way back up to the rough, but slippery, plank to make it across and into the water. I’ve lived like I can’t do that. Like having a gathering is not something I can do.

This sufficiency movement is something special to inspire me to call people together. With the support of the Community Leaders group, I invited 20 or so people to my house for a nourishing conversation about sufficiency – being, doing and having enough. Three people said, “yes,” several said, “maybe,” many said, “next time,” and two people showed up, one left early.

Because the invitation and the gathering were birthed through my declaration of being enough as I am regardless of my circumstances, I was able to hold how it went down as complete. In fact, it just so happened that the person who was present for the entire time was a dear friend who was there on her birthday. We ended up sharing loving birthday celebration.

There was a sensation of absence, absence of worry, disappointment, resentment, embarrassment, shame, and failure for my low attendance. Instead, I am appreciating the opportunity I had to play with calling together a gathering within sufficiency, and in the spirit of experimentation and loving friends. I felt so free about, I am doing it again this Monday, with a focus on parenting. People will always move me, but now it’s also true that I move people.