Where are your scarcity stories as a parent?
How many times do you say or hear in your head “I wish there was more time?” “I wish the day was 4 hour longer?” “I wish I had more time for myself.” “I wish my kid didn’t ask so many questions, or was so loud, or so demanding?” “I wish my child wouldn’t do that, be different, or more like that other kid?”
Parenting can be frustrating, especially in the realm of time.
This week as I practiced yoga, and I listened to my mind chattering away about all the things I had to do, I had the thought, “If only I could replicate myself.” My ‘scarcity radar’ picked it up, and gently moved my mind on, but another thought rolled in, “If only I could extend the day a bit.” Radar engaged again, backed up away from the thought, but then, quickly, another one: “This parenting job takes up so much time.” “Ahhg!” I thought, “That’s enough!” And I asked myself, “Why is it I feel the need to be so productive? What is that compulsion? What do I think will happen if I don’t complete everything on my list?” And from that inquiry, and probably from the power of being in a challenging yoga pose, I softened into the opening of what is, the present moment, the crystal clear knowing that I was enough right now, and always was and always will be, no matter what I check off my list.
I have an infinite trough of scarcity stories, about time, money, food, sex, love, sleep, resources, knowledge, time. Time is the big one for me. Never enough of that it seems.
What is it for you? Take a moment to check it out by noticing what occurs in your relationships to the varying domains in your life, your relationship to:
1. Food
2. Sex
3. Money
4. Work
5. Recreation, Creativity, Hobbies
6. Self care, Sleep
7. Your Body
8. Your Family of Origin
9. God, Spirit, Nature
How you relate to these domains in your life will effect how you parent. Feeling distracted about work? Feeling deficient in your marriage? Angry that Grandma doesn’t listen to what you say? Our children can feel and sense what is happening for us, and our feelings, unless we become deeply aware of them, conscious of their flow, will influence our behavior. Take a look: where is there enough in these domains? Where is there a feeling of lack, of not enough? Where do you complain, and where do you celebrate?
Now consider, what is the story you have about your kid(s)? And separately, what is the story you have about yourself as a parent? Are you enough as you are?
Tell me about it in an email [email protected]. Help us expand the conversation and light the torch of collaboration, a pillar of sufficiency that we all depend on to experience being enough.