Our blog has been quiet lately, silent. With Silence as a Weapon of Scarcity, I wonder what message that sends? Yet, we are quite active at Seven Stones these days, busy re-connecting with ourselves and each other after over a year of seismic – and disruptive – changes. We mark these shifts in our structure – the coming and goings of colleagues, the first birthday of the newest child among us, the reclaiming of integrity in our finances, the truth of our power and impact on each other despite the legal structure of the organization and doubt in ourselves, and the coming out of the closet with our intent to respond to a culture of scarcity with a conversation for enough in all our products and services.
In fact, we have discovered the cost of silence in that it causes a gap in truthtelling. When the flow of information stagnates, the relationship stagnates. Assumptions are formed. Stories are levied and leveraged. Eventually suffering ensues. Does this sound familiar?
We found that our silences most often arise when we feel some kind of scarcity – particularly not enough time. The silence acts as an abdication of investment of attention. “Sure, let’s do it – the finances, the text for the blast, the process for the framework – your way.” What we don’t say, but think: Because I don’t have time. I have too much work. I feel so glad you are handling it. Even though I don’t totally agree, I am not up for the negotiation.
I abdicate responsibility all the time. I did when I let my husband fertilize our yard with chemicals, and when I gave my daughter a cupcake for a pre-dinner snack because we were about to be late for my exercise class and I was out of time to prepare something more healthy. No big deal, each little thing. Yet, at Seven Stones, we see how over time, those little moments of abdication add up so some time later we feel patently off track, and maybe a little bit resentful.
The good news: it’s never too late for recovery and realignment. Gina says this when she teaches bystander work. We can return to a moment and time and acknowledge what happened, the silence we allowed, the gap in what was true in our hearts to say, but didn’t. We can say it now.
Something we want to say now: Love is the answer. When we speak about sufficiency, about the truth that there is enough for us all to thrive, and that it is possible in all domains of being to experience this – personally, interpersonally and structurally, and that practices exist to support the remembering of this truth, we are talking about living with an open heart directed towards love, in all its forms.
The elbow grease: closing the gap in truthtelling while maintaining an open heart requires negotiation. Speaking up and working it out, remembering our point of view has value. Not always easy – and why several shelves at the bookstore house tomes to negotiation-how-to. Why institutions form around its craft.
So we practice. We practice returning to love. We practice negotiating – with ourselves, each other, our families. We practice presence and attending to that which we say matters.
What are you practicing these days? What do you think about Love as a force of direction for our business? Any business? Please share your ideas with us.