In early 2011 Seven Stones hired a wonderful young woman to support some of our work. She is a fabulous person – smart, capable, passionate. Great. As we moved through the year and she began to articulate her real passions, we began to see her strengths and limitations, and we all began to wonder about the future. Her love for our work, our love for her and our sense of her commitment and care had all of us wanting to find a way to expand her role so that it aligned with her burgeoning dreams.

But “something” just kept being out of alignment. She felt it, we felt it, and all of us wanted it to go away. That something – that we were not able to provide the opportunities she desired and she was not able to provide the services our small business needed at this time – did not go away.

Finally we had to tell the truth. This is not working.

We sat with the truth.

Then wavered.

Because we were sad, I heard myself say, “But maybe we could …But what if we tried this …. How will she feel? … What will happen to our connection to her?”

In these early moments of our truth telling, we sat and watched how painful it was to sit with the truth, and how we wanted to do something to fix it or make it better; promote her, move her, train her. This is what we do often, isn’t it?

So after almost an hour of sitting and wavering and sitting, Shea said, “Now what?” I said, “Let’s just sit with it. Let’s just sit with the truth and let it cook. No need to rush. No need to do anything just yet. Just be.”

The next day I had a meeting with this young woman already set up. She arrived at my home and we began to check in. “How are you dear,” I said? “How are you feeling about things here at Seven Stones?”

“Well,” she said, “I think actually, as much as I hate to admit it, it’s time for me to go.”

There it was. She knew. She felt it. A nice little piece of synchronicity, yes?

Once it was spoken out in the open, everything between us opened back up. (Part of the truth telling was admitting the connection and flow of work and relationship had gotten a bit sluggish.) We felt connected, relieved, and somehow like a burden had been lifted.

The truth did set us free, specifically to:

  • be accountable for what is and what is not working, which
  • let the bottle neck of energy release so something fresh can actually happen, including
  • to feel connected with one another and this lead us to
  • re-design what we all needed and would best serve everyone now!

In our working relationships – or in any relationship – it can be difficult to speak the truth – to offer feedback, direction and honesty about what is possible – when we feel worried that we will hurt someone’s feelings, especially someone we genuinely like and care about. When we resist the truth, we muddle our clarity.

Somehow though, truth leaks out. Our colleague had known throughout that something was amiss and later wished we had spoken up. We had only postponed the inevitable, causing each of us distress. So find your courage and speak the truth. It will set everyone free to do the next right thing.

 

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